March 19, 2021
I wrote this poem about my mother-in-law Jaye, who died two weeks ago.
The Last Day
Hungry.
Stop for
a chicken sandwich.
Arrive at
the nursing home
by 1:15 p.m.
In Jaye’s room,
an attendant
tells us gently:
She passed away
at 1 p.m.
Overwhelmed
by guilt.
If only
we hadn’t stopped,
we could have been present
for the last minutes
of my dear mother-in-law’s life.
Trying to ease
our minds,
the staffer says:
She’s been in
a coma-like
state
for a couple of days.
It’s easy to see
that Jaye
is gone.
Her face
is turning
sallow.
Her body
is so, so still.
We sit
beside her
in silent
mourning.
My sister-in-law
arrives.
We hug
and sob.
A seven-year bout
with dementia
erased
the joy in Jaye’s life –
and some of the joy in mine.
Before,
she had loved me
as if I were
her child.
She praised
my stories,
my mothering,
even my cooking.
Her love for me
was unequivocal.
I loved her
the same way.
If only we
hadn’t stopped,
we could have
held her hands,
stroked her hair,
helped to ease her
into eternity.